Click here for Part I.
5. When dealing with your subconscious mind, the greater the conscious effort, the less the subconscious response.
The more conscious effort we make, the less the subconscious responds. When we are implementing mental changes – changing thoughts, beliefs and expectations – the less conscious effort, the better! The easiest way forward is to let the subconscious absorb new ideas: accepting and being open to them.
It is not so much about effort but about imagination: getting a solid idea of how you plan to be pregnant, how to have your baby, and then holding these images in your mind. Relax into it, and use language that matches it. Keep imagining (rehearsing, if you will), so your brain thinks ‘ i have been here before, i know how to do this, it’s easy’. And so as you take on new beliefs about your fertility, you replace old negative beliefs. However, you must do it consistently.
Form good images regarding conceiving, pregnancy and birth! Imagine raising your baby in your subconscious mind. The subconscious is your feeling mind. It is able to remove, alter, and amend old negative ideas or beliefs.
6. The longer you hold on to an old idea, the more opposition there is to replacing it with a new one.
Once an idea has been accepted, it tends to remain. The longer it is held, the more it becomes a fixed way of thinking. Our thinking dictates our habits, good or bad. We have many thought habits that are incorrect, yet will remain fixed in the mind. For example, every time you used birth control, you sent a message to your mind: ‘i don’t want a baby’. Of course this is not true now, it was true in the past, yet the idea may still there.
The mind may now experience opposition when attempting to replace this old idea with a new one. Note that these are fixed ideas, not fleeting thoughts! However, no matter how fixed the idea is or how long its been held, it can still be changed. All beliefs can be changed when you introduce doubt. The minute you begin to question something, you no longer believe it.
Look at your beliefs about fertility and whether you believe you will conceive easily. How do you think you will cope being pregnant, giving birth, and even raising children? Are they negative beliefs or very positive ones?
7. Where is your mind? Your mind cannot hold conflicting beliefs.
The mind cannot hold conflicting thoughts. We cannot be honest and dishonest at the same time, or happy and sad simultaneously. When we hold conflicting beliefs – it confuses the mind and stops it moving towards what you really want. For example, making jokes about the supposed horrors of pregnancy and birth, and exaggerating what we perceive birth does to us, whilst simultaneously longing to have a baby are conflicting beliefs. Your mind believes everything you say as literal truth (it has to, it’s its job.) So you planning to get pregnant, yet worrying about it so much, imagining and fearing that you won’t… these beliefs are contradictory.
If you long to have a baby, yet fear that it won’t happen (this includes fear of miscarriage, or even a terrible birth experience), then you are linking pleasure and pain to the same thing. Your mind’s job is to move you towards pleasure and away from pain. Therefore, when you link both feelings to the same event (having a baby), it is left confused and cannot do anything. Note that pain is the more dominant emotion and your mind will do more to avoid pain than it will to get pleasure. Simply, because avoiding pain is how we survive on the planet.
Make sure to link pleasure to all the changes you have made or are making to conceive. For example, if you gave up caffeine and alcohol to improve your chances of conceiving but resent doing it, your mind will link pain to healthy choices. Because of that, you will feel deprived instead of proud that you have made a smart lifestyle change.
When making change – don’t say ‘I must’ or ‘I have to’ – instead, say ‘I want to’ or ‘I have chosen to’. A simple shift of expression that makes a phenomenal difference to the mind.
Most people have resistance to making healthy changes. When friends invite you out over the weekend but you know that spending your weekend doing exercise, eating healthily and having an epsom salts bath will be more aligned with your goal of conceiving soon, it is best to say: ‘I am choosing to spend this weekend getting healthy!’ Or: ‘I want to pamper myself and look after myself this weekend!’ You will feel entirely different and will enjoy the process.
Make a point of linking massive pleasure to all the changes you make by filling your mind with good thoughts, words, images. You will notice that you move into these changes more easily. In the same way, link pleasure to every stage of having a baby. Get excited about conceiving easily now, thrilled about being pregnant, and having a short and easy birth. See yourself enjoying being a natural instinctive mum, adapting to motherhood with ease and loving the whole process!
You are able to choose how you feel, so don’t link pain or fear to having a baby. This will only delay or block the process. You cannot plan to have your baby whilst holding fears about having a baby (or not having a baby).